Rejected Unionist Referendum Question Proposals

The wording of “Do you agree that Scotland should be an Independent Country?” caused some consternation as being unfair in some circles.

It is therefore only right that we look at some of the alternatives that were put forward by unionist parties…

  1. Would you like all these puppies to be poisoned, or would you prefer to stay part of the union?
  2. Would you prefer to be independent and be subjected to numerous terrorists attacks, meteor strikes, possible dinosaur attacks and financial ruin or would you prefer not to have all those problems if we just sort them all out for you?
  3. When the moon is in the 7th knee and the wimble-wimbles wemble, would you prefer to wash the moon or grembille the runfrunffers? (this was the suggestion of George Foulkes).
  4. Is it better to shut up and f*ck off or shut up and not f*ck off?


  1. Then there’s the Ed Miliband version: “Do you want to follow Alessandro Mussalmondolini and the Scottish Lega Nord, or wouldn’t you rather join with me and other genuine centre-leftists who are almost distinguishable from the right?”

  2. Meanwhile, here in Ireland, “referendum” is also the word on the lips of everyone. The government wants to ratify the new European Fiscal Compact and is desperately hoping a referendum will not be required to do so. The Attorney General is expected to give a ruling on the matter very soon (though, if the AG claims no referendum is required, the decision will be challenged in the High Courts).

    Members of the government have been appearing in the media to dismiss the need for a referendum. Most recently, our transport minister stunned the nation with his pronouncement that the problem with a referendum is that it’s “not democratic”. I expect the same kind of nonsense will begin to emerge from the “No to Independence” camp in Scotland.

  3. I thought referendums on European financial matters were relatively simple and convenient. When the public gives the wrong answer, you just keep on doing what you’re doing and asking them about it until they get it right.

  4. Well, that’s definitely the traditional model. But nobody is quite sure the Irish population will go with tradition this time around. The circumstances have changed somewhat.

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