PHONES

At New Year this year I didn’t have to go through all that business of waiting for the texts to come through or not getting any reception because everyone is phoning or texting each other at the same time.

This was mostly because, yes, I have done it again. Another telephone packed up on me. I didn’t actually break this one… it did it all by itself.

Nonetheless, I have a very chequered history with mobile phones. I didn’t get one for a long time after everybody else had one. Since then I have had a series of accidents and stupid moments that have (ahem) deprived me of a phone from time to time.

My first phone was given to me by my then girlfriend so I had no excuses to be out of touch.

That phone met with bad ending – which was a genuine accident – I dropped it down 5 flights of stairs.

I then didn’t have a phone for a few months.

NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME AS A RESULT OF NOT HAVING A PHONE.

In another genuine accident the next phone I got I dropped it into a pint of water. End of phone 2.

I then didn’t have a phone for a year.

NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME AS A RESULT OF NOT HAVING A PHONE.

I was given a third phone and at a New Year party a few people were arguing and they were all a bit out of it (Scottish new year parties are like that – they usually don’t stop till about February). I tried reasoning with them and it didn’t work so I microwaved my phone. This ended the argument and became the talking point of the evening.

I learned two things because of this…

1. Mobile phones that have been microwaved retain their heat for a long time.

2. Doing something stupid stops an argument more quickly than trying to reason with people.

I then didn’t have a phone for another year or so.

NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME AS A RESULT OF NOT HAVING A PHONE.

I honestly can’t remember how I got the next one although I am sure I got it for free. I got a bit drunk and upset one night and smashed it.

Then I went away for a year (as I intimated a couple of posts previously) and my employers gave me a mobile phone. My friend in the place I was in was drunk and thought it would be a good idea to jump about on my bed. SHE smashed the phone.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a very few situations where a mobile phone is both a useful and positive thing, but these situations are far fewer and further between than most people think.

There is also the issue (though this applies to almost every product) of where the metal comes from for these phones. This is about the only thing that makes me feel bad about my habit of destroying phones (intentionally or no).

Just as bad as the destruction wrought to the planet by mining for phone components however is the damage  that these things have done to our capacities for thinking .

For example, one day I was taking a class and one of my students (she would have been about 19) said something along the lines of “I just don’t understand how people lived without mobile phones, I just couldn’t do it.”

I stared at her for a minute and said “we used our wits.”

About these ads

One thought on “PHONES

  1. How we chortled at the microwave incident. Only now with the benefit of experience and sobriety do I see that it was in fact a great idea. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s