HOW TO GET ARRESTED IN DISNEYLAND

This is a little story that I received via email from one of my readers, ‘anan’ and think it is worth passing on. I wasn’t there so I didn’t see it. I have never been to Disneyland and cannot confirm or deny the story.

How to Get Arrested In Disneyland – by Anan

This is a cautionary tale. You may want to excuse the children from the room; there may be parts of this story they may not wish to hear.
 
One month in early summer, much too many moons ago, my crazy friend Orah and I were journeying through California with a couple of friends, trying to forget our worries back home and not doing a very good job of it. Then one day, as we were driving through Anaheim, she suggested that we take a day off and go enjoy the wonders of Disneyland.
 
I had my doubts. Not only was I a trifle too large to be slapping palms with Daffy Duck, I’d been there as a child and found it boring. The only thing that had saved the trip back then was the visit my grandparents had made to an old friend of theirs, an animator for Walt who had his own hand-penned cartoons of Mickey Mouse on a wall. He’d hung Nazi memorabilia from his extensive collection on the back of the same wall. Somehow the image of Nazi daggers with dancing Mickeys had stuck. I was in no rush to go back to Disneyland.
 
But since Orah had never been, and since she was in charge of the car, we all found ourselves in the realm of Tinkerbell and Indiana Jones, fending off onslaughts from the waves of heat-addled preschoolers. I had no idea there were so many uses for cotton candy. But I was right to doubt the sagacity of going there; it’s not really for the four foot and up crowd. Soon we became listless and bored.
 
I don’t know who suggested it first, but on the spur of the moment, we decided to play our own games. Hopping onto our friends, we started a vigorous, clumsy piggyback fight in front of the Enchanted Castle. We soon became involved in the fun of it and didn’t even notice the police until we were completely surrounded by them.
 
Not regular police. Disney police. They wore spotlessly white uniforms with no designation on them whatsoever to show name, rank, or serial number… or even that they were police. They had clean blank faces like newly hatched insects, and were absolutely silent. Only one insect spoke. He informed us that we were under arrest because of our violation of Disneyland’s special anti-conflict bylaws. We would not be incarcerated at this time, he said, but our group would be escorted out of the park and refused entry for the remainder of the day. He stamped his disapproval on our hands.
 
Before we or anyone else realized what was happening, the Disney police had ringed us like antibodies and were pushing us out of the gates. They kept on pushing until we were far out in the Los Angelos-style parking lot. They dumped us without ceremony onto the moonies and dispersed. We stood in shock, a line of chanting and bellringing at our back. The whole thing had happened so quickly that we hadn’t had time to react. It was only afterwards that I learned the Disney staff inhabit a private world of their own, often marrying each other and raising their children in special schools. They couldn’t be expected to grant piggyback fights leniency.
 
Laughing, we acceded that it really is true; it’s a small world, after all.
 
Flower, anyone?

Also this from Naomi Klein

Most of it does actually, ironically, have to do with a longing for public space. If you think about Disney, for instance — one of the most successful brand builders of all time — they really are selling an idea of a lost American town where there was a town square and your kids were safe to walk in the streets. And they first built that in their films, then brought it to life in their theme parks, and expanded it into cruise ships and things like that, holidays. And then they took it further, of course, with [the planned community] Celebration, Fla., where you pack up the kids and move inside the brand. I find it really interesting that Disney describes Celebration as a tribute, a celebration of public space. What’s interesting about Celebration, Fla., is that there are no brands there. Once you actually achieve brand nirvana, what you want to do is you want to seal the exits. There’s no competition, and you’ve got full synergy, full vertical integration, and there’s no need for marketing.

23 thoughts on “HOW TO GET ARRESTED IN DISNEYLAND

  1. Pingback: Games » HOW TO GET ARRESTED IN DISNEYLAND

  2. By the way, if they did escort them out, it was with good reason. If you let every group have “fun” this way, it wouldn’t be long til it turned into a brawl. When you have 30,000-60,000 people in a relatively small area, especially when many are small children, you can’t allow this kind of activity.

    • Fuck you Mark, you’re a little bitch. Take the large fingered white Mickey glove out of your ass and have some fun.

  3. Hi Mark:

    Thank you for responding to my story. I am assuming you have some connections to Disney Security, although you do not mention exactly what those might be. Your comments provide some insight to what was, for me, a very perplexing episode.

    If you are similarily perplexed by my story, perhaps it might help to inform you that this happened about twenty-six years ago. Things were a little different. I’d grown up on Disney like everybody else and had my own ideas about what that name meant. Going to Disneyland was interesting because for once it showed me some of the realpolitik behind the company.

    To be honest with you, i don’t remember whether the Disney police wore nametags. It was a long time ago. But even if they did, the overwhelming impression they gave was of homogeny… of everyone being the same, without a tolerance for difference. It was creepy.

    Our supposed ‘crime’ was so laughable that we were incredulous. Two couples piggybacking in front of the Enchanted Castle hardly rates as a ‘brawl’, dear. The few children around were laughing with us at our antics. Just for the record, we were four incredibly normal-looking white suburban kids with nothing about us to send up a flare for the Disney Police. Their reaction was puzzling and overwhelming.

    When Disneyland ‘can’t allow this kind of activity’ (piggybacking) then what, may i ask, could possibly be allowed?

  4. Try getting kicked out for wearing a rage against the machine t-shirt…Worn under a swaetshirt when I went in…By noon it was hot so I took off the sweatshirt to reveal a t-shirt that simply said rage against the machine…No logos or pictures just the name in black writing on the back… I was told it encouraged disorder and the word rage was prohibited… I was allowed to stay if I wanted to purchase a disney shirt for $25 dollars…How pathetic…Needless to say I refused to buy a shirt and was escorted off the property…Since I’ve been back I have seen two employees I know that tell me they play rage against the machine in the employee areas along with other music that is considered offensive all the time… Not to mention the fact they have smoking areas in the park which is totally disgusting…And they serve alcohol…I will never go to Disneyland again…It only caters to kids 10 and under and has no tolerance for adult themes at all… By the way what ever happened to my amedment rights like freedom of speach or expression?

  5. Keith,

    First of all, your AMENDMENT rights like freedom of SPEECH are not taken away when you walk through the gates of Disneyland. However, if people haven’t figured this out yet, Disney takes pride in representing itself as a family friendly company. If they find your shirt offensive, they have every right to ask you to change into something else. It’s then your “right” to decide to either buy a new shirt or leave. Also, if you feel they only cater to the 10 & under crowd, why do you even go to Disneyland?

    Anan,

    Regardless of when this event happened, you should know that Disney’s #1 priority in their theme parks is safety. Unfortunately, seemingly innocent events can lead to injury and there are just too many people out there who don’t have enough common sense to avoid getting hurt. Based upon your feelings towards Disney prior to this fateful visit, I’m guessing you would never have looked back and reflected on the trip as memorable or fun. You are obviously not a fan of Disney… maybe you would be more at home at a Six Flags theme park, where Daffy Duck lives (Donald, by the way, is Disney’s favorite duck) and where horseplay and dangerous activities are generally ignored by employees.

  6. I got kicked out of disney today because i was complaining on one of their employees…. Disneyland is a creepy little place. I was their biggest fan ever and they just opened my eyes to what they really and truely are. Its really sad. I feel like i just found out santa isnt real….

  7. I was arrested a a few days because I was acting a little rowdy. Their evil security surrounded me at which point I put up my hands and told them I was not doing anything bad. They quickly lead me behind a building where the public could not see me and tackled me down. I was arrested for assault, battery, assault on peace officer, and resisting arrest – all totally bullshit! Next think you know I’m in cell with cuts and bruises all over my body. I still wonder what I did to deserve this… Disneyland sucks

  8. To the post above I say should have sued them for doing that to you. Today i also got kicked out they accused me of something i did not do. Stupid security people, i hate them.

  9. Its funny, I’ve been to Disneyland hundreds of times in the past few years – always behaved myself, and never, not once, been accused of doing anything I didn’t do, or randomly beaten behind a building as some of the above posters claim.

    One thing I’ve noticed in my years on this earth: those who claim they’ve done “nothing wrong,” usually aren’t so innocent.

  10. Pingback: IS JUDAS GREATER THAN JESUS « Michael Greenwell

  11. Disney always struck a negative chord in me. The “Happiest Place on Earth” didnt seem that way. I read about guys being fired due tr.
    to wearing mustaches, handicapped people being refused employment cause they didn’t
    fit the “image” and a mother and her 3 year old being detained for hours because the child took a small object from a store and then ran out before the mother could stop him. It’s the idea of a fake old fashioned world that charges very up to date prices that can cost a family of four the same amount as their rent.

    • ahhh… you can wear mustaches if your a cast member. Handicap people are allowed to work there, and the mother was not detained for 3 hours because of her 3 year old. she was detained because she stole something. someone needs to get their facts straight.

  12. Pingback: A Thousand Up « Michael Greenwell

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