Michael Greenwell

So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable. – Aldous Huxley

UK ACHIEVES MORE THAN 10% GROWTH

3 Comments Posted by on November 24, 2009

UK Ministers were delighted at the recent news that the UK has achieved 10% growth in one year.

“We have always talked about the importance of growth for our country. Growth is the ultimate good and must override all other concerns” said government spokesman Donald Harebrain. Opposition spokesman Theobald Quixotic responded by saying “it was our idea first and we thought of it 20 years ago and what is more, it is a new idea that we just invented last week”.

They were of course referring to the fact that in just one year the UK managed growth of more than 10% in the number of endangered species within its borders.

Harebrain continued…“We have completely outstripped our rivals and have shown the world again what British ingenuity means. Look at the statistics. Bermuda achieved no growth whatsoever whereas Brunei and Eritrea actually show negative growth.”

Harebrain also expressed his glee that this had all been achieved without letting in any foreign asylum seeking endangered species.

Advertisement
animals, environment, nature, politics, uk, wildlife, zoology , , ,

3 Responses to UK ACHIEVES MORE THAN 103 GROWTH

  1. Scunnert November 24, 2009 at 18:24

    It’s A Miracle

    Miraculous you call it babe
    You ain’t seen nothing yet
    They’ve got Pepsi in the Andes
    Mcdonalds in Tibet
    Yosemite’s been turned into
    A golf course for the Japs
    The Dead Sea is alive with rap
    Between the Tigris and Euphrates
    There’s a leisure centre now
    They’ve got all kinds of sports
    They’ve got Bermuda shorts
    The had sex in Pennsylvania
    A Brazilian grew a tree
    A doctor in Manhattan
    Saved a dying man for free
    It’s a miracle
    Another miracle
    By the grace of God Almighty
    And pressures of marketplace
    The human race has civilized itself
    It’s a miracle
    We’ve got a warehouse of butter
    We’ve got oceans of wine
    We’ve got famine when we need it
    Got a designer crime
    We’ve got Mercedes
    We’ve got Porsche
    Ferrari and Rolls Royce
    We’ve got a choice
    She said meet me
    In the Garden of Gethsemane my dear
    The Lord said Peter I can see
    Your house from here
    An honest man
    Finally reaped what he had sown
    And farmer in Ohio has just repaid a loan
    It’s a miracle
    Another miracle
    By the grace of God Almighty
    And pressures of marketplace
    The human race has civilized itself
    It’s a miracle
    We cower in our shelters
    With our hands over our ears
    Lloyd-Webber’s awful stuff
    Runs for years and years and years
    An earthquake hits the theatre
    But the operetta lingers
    Then the piano lids comes down
    And break his fucking fingers
    It’s a miracle

    Reply
  2. antigone82 November 24, 2009 at 22:47

    In questo mondo che solo compra e che disprezza, il più colpevole sono io, inaridito dall’amarezza.

    - Pierpaolo Pasolini-

    Reply
  3. ANGRYFELLA November 25, 2009 at 15:50

    THIS WESTERN WORLD SHIT SOCIETY HAS BROKEN MY BALLS WITH ALL THESE NUMBERS AND PRODUCTIVITY OBSESSION WHERE EMPLOYEES R JUST MERE MACHINES INSERTING CODES ALL THE TIME ALLOWING DICK HEADS TO B UY THEIR TOYS WHICH R MERE TOOLS OF DISTRUCTION OF THE WORLD WHERE UK IS JUST A PUPPET IN THE HANDS OF MONSTER HUMAIN EATING AMERICAN COMPANIES WHERE A TEAR ISN’T SHED OVER PEOPLE’S M ISFORTUNES SO THEY CAN STICK THEIR GROWTH IN THEIR ARSES THANYOU VERY M UCH AND SO CAN DO THEIR SLAVE ABIDING ADDICTED-BRAINWASHED SLAVES AND AGRESSIVE AND DISHONEST EMPLOYEES WHO DON’T HESITATE TO STAB U IN THE BACK, WHAT FUCKING SLEAZY JERKS! MIGHT THEY PERISH IN HELL!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 384 other followers